For those of you still with me I’ll move on to the actual review now, shall I? Anyway, Frozen tells the tale of two sister princesses (because come on it’s a Disney movie, they pretty much have to be princesses) Elsa and Anna. The older sister, Elsa, has the power to create ice and snow. And as she grows so do her powers and she is less and less able to control them. The younger princess, Anna, is completely unaware of her sister’s power. This is because as children Elsa accidentally injured Anna and as a result Anna’s memory of her sister’s power had to be erased from her mind (by trolls). So Elsa stays hidden away in a room in the castle terrified of hurting anyone or letting anyone discover her power. Anna doesn’t understand why their entire family has to stay holed up in the castle all the time and becomes quite bored and restless as the years go by. Eventually the girl’s parents die (because again it’s a Disney movie and if you’re the parents of a princess your odds of survival are pretty much zero) and Elsa is forced to assume the throne of Arendelle. But, just after the coronation ceremony, Anna unintentionally provokes Elsa into revealing her powers. Horrified Elsa flees the castle, accidentally creating winter over the entire kingdom. So of course Anna must now go on a quest to find her sister and save all of Arendelle; and we have the premise of our entire movie. On the way she encounters: trolls, a snow monster, wolves, an adorable talking snowman, and a couple handsome guys.
Now I want to get this out of the way very early, I really liked this film. The songs were catchy and fun. Kirsten Bell was AWESOME as the voice of Anna, seriously who knew she could sing like that? The snowman Olaf was hysterical (he is now one of my favorite animated sidekicks of all time)! Kristoff (one of the male leads) was adorable and he had a cute reindeer pet who he sings to (totally agree with you Kristoff reindeer really are better than people!). The computer animation was GORGEOUS, especially when Elsa was using her powers. Really, and I truly mean this, job well done Disney!
But that being said I did have some issues with this film and they have been bugging me ever since I left the theater. So here are my complaints, no, that sounds too negative. Criticisms? No that’s still sounds bad…here are the things that annoyed me ever so slightly. And let’s be honest most Disney movies have something in them that makes a scratch our heads and say, “Come on Disney.” I can’t count the number of hours I have spent trying to figure out what the fairies in Sleeping Beauty could have done differently (turning her into a flower or raising her yourself were really the ONLY two options you could come up with?). Or how about: what did the mer-people in Little Mermaid eat? They obviously didn’t eat fish, because they constantly refer to humans as “fish killers.” So what did they eat…seaweed? I know, I clearly have issues.
Are they half-siblings?
And that brings me to my second annoyance, the king and queen in this film are just horrible parents. Really I’ve seen a pack of wolves that were better at parenting than these two.
Considering they are one of the only set of parents in an animated Disney film to both survive well into their children’s teen years, you’d think they would put a little more effort into actually PARENTING. Their solution to Elsa’s growing power problem? Let’s lock her up in the castle with little to no human contact! And even though her younger sister doesn’t have any scary abilities, let’s lock her up in the castle without any human contact too! Even though Anna is not supposed to know anything about her sister’s powers, let’s keep them in the same castle but in separate rooms; that sounds like a great plan! Let’s not take the sister (who doesn’t have powers we have to keep secret) on any trips or send her away to school so that she could make some friends and have, you know, a life! You’d think getting Anna out of the castle so she wouldn’t accidentally discover her sister’s powers, would be something that would benefit everyone. But no, apparently the king and queen’s plan was to keep both girls locked up indefinitely. You know so that neither of them could ever actually meet a man and get married or produce heirs. Great plan! You know who else had a plan like this? The evil witch/kidnapper Mother Gothel in Tangled. Here is a tip: if your parenting style mirrors a crazy witch who likes to kidnap children, you need to take a long hard look at your choices.
And hey, while we’re keeping the girls locked up let’s not give Anna any explanation as to why it has to be this way. I know she can’t know the truth (they were worried that if Anna knew about Elsa’s powers it might cause Anna to relapse…it didn’t by the way) but come on, you can’t tell her anything? “Sorry sweetheart, we can’t ever leave the castle or let anyone else in, because…there are these evil assassins after your father and we can’t trust anyone!” That would have been better than not telling her anything. She must have thought her parents and older sister were agoraphobics.
Oh and another way the king and queen dropped the ball? Deciding it would be a good idea to go away on a trip and leave both daughters without supervision. Of course they are going to die on that trip. Everyone in the audience knew they were going to die on that trip. And no, they did not die because the aforementioned evil assassins tracked them down and murdered them, (that would have been way more interesting). They died because a storm hit their boat and it sunk. So now the girl with formidable magical powers (powers I’d like to point out that are exacerbated by emotions) has to deal with the death of not one, but both of her parents. Explain to me why they both had to go? Wouldn’t it have been smart to let one parent stay behind to make sure Elsa’s secret didn’t get out and to make sure she didn’t unintentionally freeze the kingdom? Nope. Apparently their conversation went something like this:
King: “Sweetheart we haven’t been away in ages, how about a boat trip?”
Queen: “But darling the reason we haven’t had a vacation in forever is because our daughter might kill someone if left without supervision.”
King: “My love you worry too much, I’m sure both girls will be fine, what could possibly go wrong?”
Oh and let’s make Elsa feel like a freak because she has these powers (even though we specifically tell the trolls that she is NOT cursed) and put ENORMOUS pressure on her to be perfect all the time so that one day she can be queen. You want evidence of the incredible amount of pressure the king and queen placed on Elsa? Here are some lines from the song “Let it Go” that Elsa sings midway through the film:
Don't let them in, don't let them see.
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal don't feel, don't let them know.
You know what’s a good idea? Repeatedly telling your teenage daughter not to have feelings and be perfect. Teenage girls just love to hear this. This is why when Elsa does eventually run away, and is able to use her abilities and feel emotions, she is so HAPPY! Let me put that into perspective for you: Elsa is in on top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere, no food, no friends, no family, no one to talk to, and she couldn’t be more thrilled! When your daughter would rather be in frozen wasteland in the middle of nowhere instead of at home with you, I reiterate YOUR PARENTING CHOICES NEED TO BE EXAMINED!
And how about instead of trying to teach Elsa to control her powers on your own (when you have no idea how they work or where they came from) how about taking her to someone who is actually magical? Someone like say, the trolls?!
The trolls are magical creatures, they are also apparently fond of taking in young children who need help (Kristoff was raised by them) why not let them raise Elsa? And don’t tell me that a king and queen would never give up their child, even if it meant that the child would be better off. Because Sleeping Beauty’s parents let fairies raise Aurora so that she would be safe. Are you telling me Elsa’s parents didn’t love her enough to let someone else raise her so that she could learn to control her powers and so that someday she wouldn’t accidentally end up killing someone (like her sister)? Then when Elsa was older and more adept at controlling her powers, she could return to her family and rule without the fear of eternal winter.
Oh and that brings me to my next complaint (yes I’m using the word complaint, I don’t care about the negative connotations anymore): the fact that Elsa was heir to the throne in the first place. How does letting your eldest daughter (who has scary magical abilities) inherit the throne sound like a good idea? Seriously, the only way that it might make sense for Elsa to inherit the throne someday, is if she was their only child, and there was no one else who could possibly rule the kingdom. But hello, don’t you have another daughter? Another daughter who doesn’t have magical powers and a hair trigger that might set them off anytime she has an emotion? Wouldn’t Anna make the better ruler anyway? And don’t tell me the king couldn’t have changed the law so that he could choose his own heir and screw the whole official line of succession thing. Because, I don’t buy it.
And that brings me to another question/complaint: there was a 3 year gap from when the king and queen died to when Elsa was crowned queen, what happened in those 3 years? The movie makes it clear that Elsa was not of age, so she had to wait to be crowned queen. O.k. then, so who was ruling during that 3 year period? Who was regent for Elsa? And did they know about Elsa’s powers? If so, wouldn’t it have been smarter to remain on the throne until Anna came of age so that she could become queen? Elsa was TERRIFIED of being queen, terrified that she wouldn’t be able to control her powers, that she would hurt someone (like she hurt Anna when they were kids), terrified that people would find out about her powers and want to burn her at the stake.
I don’t know if they burned witches at the stake in the kingdom of Arendelle, but I’m just speculating that they might have. Shouldn’t Elsa have said to the regent, “Hey, I’m not really queen material, what with my ability to freeze people to death, how about we wait till my sister is old enough to rule?” Then Elsa could have just either stayed locked up in the castle, or she could have left to “find herself” and lived in the mountains far away from other people. She could have been “free.” Which is all she ever really seemed to want in the first place.
Wow, I had no idea these things were bugging me this much. It feels good to get these things out in the open. But I digress; another complaint (that doesn’t have anything to do with the king and queens atrocious parenting choices) is Kristoff’s backstory. The issue is that he doesn’t really have one. All he really says about his past is that he was on his own (well not completely alone, he did have a reindeer sidekick named Sven) and then he was found and raised by trolls. This raises a lot of questions. Like: was he orphaned, or did his parents abandon him? I’m not asking for a ton of information here, just how he ended up on his own. Now I know what you are going to say, “Don’t most of the guys in Disney movies have little, to no back story? Like the prince in Snow White or the captain dude from The Hunchback of Notre Dame?” Well first, let me point out that it is rude to interrupt, and second just because it was done in past Disney films doesn’t make it o.k. Isn’t this the new and improved Disney? Isn’t this the Disney that wants their characters to have more depth and be less one dimensional? For example, in Tangled Flynn/Eugene’s backstory is given and it does not take that long (“I was raised in an orphanage, poor and sad; I always wanted to be rich so I became a thief”). Isn’t this the Disney who realizes how ridiculous it is to have 2 people to meet, share a song, and become engaged in five minutes? Because I thought it was. Disney has poked fun at the whole, “We just met let’s get married!” thing several times (in Enchanted and in this film). I thought you had evolved Disney. I guess I was wrong.
Anyway back to Kristoff. If he was orphaned that raises other questions. Was he raised in an orphanage? And if so did they not notice that one day he went out walking (by himself I might add) and never came home? Did he send them a letter saying “Hey met some nice trolls, think I’ll live with them now”? And how about that opening sequence? We see a bunch of men collecting ice from the river, Kristoff can clearly be seen following behind them with his reindeer, but none of the men seem to notice him or care about what he is doing, why is that? Are these guys shunning him or are they such horrible people that they don’t notice the TINY CHILD using a SAW to make holes in the FROZEN RIVER? If these are the kind of people that live in Arendelle, I think they kind of deserve the eternal winter.
And now for my biggest complaint: the ending. In the beginning of this review I gave the basic plot of Frozen, but now I need to fill in some blanks. So SERIOUS SPOILERS AHEAD! Early in the film Anna meets a prince named Hans: they sing, dance, and fall in love (or do they?). They get engaged and go to Elsa for her blessing. Elsa refuses, she says it’s ridiculous to get engaged to a guy you just met (way to poke fun at yourself Disney!). Anna gets upset and she and Elsa get into an argument that ends with Elsa revealing her powers. You know what happens next, Elsa runs away and Anna is forced to try and track her down.
Anyway, when Anna goes on the quest to find Elsa, she leaves Hans to take care of the kingdom. While Anna is out in the wilderness she loses her horse and ends up meeting Kristoff and Olaf. When Anna’s horse returns to the palace without her, Hans rounds up a posse to track her and Elsa down. Anna meanwhile finds Elsa and they get into another argument that ends with Elsa accidentally freezing Anna’s heart (although neither of them realizes this at the time). Kristoff takes Anna to the trolls for medical attention (because who knows more about medicine that trolls?). Unfortunately the troll can’t unfreeze Anna’s heart, it will take an act of true love (a kiss maybe?). So Kristoff rushes Anna back to the palace so that she can kiss Hans (even though she is clearly in love with Kristoff at this point). Kristoff leaves Anna at the palace and then beats a fast retreat (because he is an idiot sometimes and really should listen to his reindeer more often). Meanwhile Hans has returned with Elsa. He locks her up in the dungeon and goes to see Anna. Anna tells him to kiss her so that her heart will be unfrozen. But in a twist no one saw coming (I did, thanks for spoiling that one for me movie trailer and random internet personality) Hans reveals he doesn’t love Anna at all. He was just using her to get on the throne. Hans has 12 older brothers and knows he will have to marry a princess if he ever wants to become king (by the way we end up learning more about his backstory than we ever do about Kristoff’s, but whatever, trying to let that go).
Anyway Hans refuses to kiss Anna and leaves her to die locked up in some random room in the palace. He then tells her advisors that Anna is dead but they managed to say their wedding vows before she croaked so they are kind of married. He then tells Elsa that she killed her sister, and must now face the death penalty. Not a bad plan really, killing two sisters with one stone, so to speak. But then Elsa escapes (of course she escapes, she has incredible magical powers, way to drop the ball Hans). Meanwhile Olaf helps Anna escape the palace (in one of the sweetest scenes in this film). So now both Anna and Elsa are wandering around in the snowstorm (so are Kristoff and Hans by the way). Kristoff and Anna are trying to find each other, since they both realize they are in love (after only knowing each other a day I might add). I have no idea why Elsa is wandering around (I don’t think she knows either). And Hans is trying to track down Elsa and kill her.
And now we’ve come to the part in this film that annoyed me the most. Anna sees Kristoff off in the distance but she also sees Hans advancing towards Elsa with a sword in his hands. So of course Anna chooses to save Elsa, taking the blow from Hans’s sword (she has turned to ice at this point so no blood or anything, this is still a Disney movie after all). Elsa is shocked (she thought Anna was dead already so you can see how she might be confused). Elsa wraps her arms around Anna’s frozen body and starts to cry. But wait! Anna’s act of love has melted her heart and she unfreezes. Yay! Elsa is confused but Anna explains that love is all you need. Elsa realizes that love is what she was missing and voila, she has complete control over her powers! Elsa unfreezes the kingdom, Hans is sent home in disgrace (he didn’t die, which is unusual for a Disney villain), and everyone lives happily ever after!
In the Disney universe falling is the leading cause of deaths among villians.
“Now, come on,” you’re saying to yourself, “that isn’t such a bad ending.” Again, I’ll remind you that it is rude to interrupt. Here is why the ending annoyed me so much: no one learned anything new. At the end of this film Anna shows how much she loves Elsa and sacrifices herself. But hasn’t Anna repeatedly shown both Elsa and the audience how much she loves her sister? From the start of the film, we have seen Anna trying over and over again to connect with Elsa (asking Elsa to build a snowman and trying to have fun with her at the coronation ball). Or how about when Anna braved the wilderness and snow (almost freezing to death at least once) to find Elsa and convince her to come home? Anna has shown over and over again that she is willing to do anything for her sister. But has Elsa ever done the same for Anna? The answer is no. But we can’t really place all the blame on Elsa. Elsa had to keep Anna at a distance when they were growing up (again, great parenting choices were made by all!). But how about after Anna (and everyone else for that matter) has learned of Elsa’s power? How about when Anna finally tracks Elsa down in her snow palace? Anna is begging her sister to unfreeze the kingdom and come home. Now Elsa doesn’t know how to unfreeze the kingdom so I can’t really blame her for that (I can blame her parents though). But she still refuses to go anywhere near Anna. And sure that’s probably because Elsa is afraid of hurting her sister again. But how about explaining that? How about explaining to your sister that you once almost killed her and asking her for forgiveness? Nope, Elsa doesn’t do any of those things. She just “accidentally” hurts Anna again (I can’t count the number of times my older sister “accidentally” injured me). And then instead of trying to help Anna, Elsa creates a giant snow monster to attack both Anna and Kristoff. Yep, you can really feel the love.
Now I do understand that Elsa wasn’t trying to hurt Anna (allegedly). And the audience can tell that Elsa is tormented by guilt when she thinks she killed Anna. But Anna doesn’t know any of this. Put yourself in Anna’s shoes: your older sister has barely spoken to you since childhood, she refuses to bless your marriage (she was right about that though), she keeps “accidentally” injuring you, and she would rather live in the middle of nowhere (albeit in a pretty snow palace) than go home with you. Anna must think her sister doesn’t care about her at all. Now, if in the end, Elsa had sacrificed herself to save Anna that would have made me happy. Because Anna would have finally realized that Elsa did love her. But that’s not what happened. Anna just proves for the umpteenth time that she loves her sister.
“Well,” you ask, “how would you have ended the film, with Kristoff kissing Anna and melting her heart?” Glad you asked. I wouldn’t have ended it with a kiss (I mean come on, we’ve seen that a million times, how about something new?). I would have liked the film to have ended with either Elsa saving Anna, or having Olaf (the snowman) save Anna. “The snowman?” you say incredulously, “How could he have saved Anna?” Again thank you for asking, he could have sacrificed himself (by melting) to save Anna. And that is actually how I thought the film was going to go. I knew it wasn’t going to end with a kiss (to cliché) and I knew someone was going to have to sacrifice themselves. In the touching scene I mentioned earlier, (where Olaf helps Anna escape the palace), he risks melting to try and keep her warm. He says the sweetest line “Some people are worth melting for.” How could you not love that scene?
It would have been so great if, by melting for Anna, (a truer act of love I cannot conceive) Olaf managed to unfreeze her heart. Wouldn’t that have been AWESOME?! For once the funny sidekick saves the day, not the handsome prince or less attractive other guy (I’m sorry, blondes just don’t do it for me Kristoff), but the sidekick! It would have been like if, in Beauty and the Beast, it isn’t Belle whose love ends up saving the beast but Mrs. Potts! That would have been GREAT! But no, the beautiful princess ends up saving herself. I get that it was supposed to be about female empowerment (you don’t need a prince to save you) but it was boring. Mulan and Pocahontas did the whole female empowerment thing better (I’m not going to bring up the historical inaccuracies in both of those films; I’ll save that for another day).
And another thing about the ending that bothered me: all of a sudden Elsa has complete control over her powers? She realized love was all she needed to control her powers and poof, problem solved?! That raises some questions. Did Elsa never feel love in her entire life? Did she never feel love from her parents or in turn love anyone else? If that’s the case I’ve got a whole new bone to pick with the king and queen in this film. And now that Elsa can control her powers, everyone in the kingdom just accepts her as queen? Does Elsa (in a scene cut from the film) say to her subjects, “My bad about the whole eternal winter thing, won’t happen again”? They didn’t seem like the most forgiving or accepting bunch of people. But apparently they are, good for them. I mean they still are horrible at taking care of children but at least they forgave their queen for almost killing them. That’s progress I guess.
Well there you go; all my issues with the film Frozen. I doubt if anyone managed to read this entire thing. I probably lost most of you around the rant about the Little Mermaid. Oh well, this wasn’t about you (selfish). This was about me getting my thoughts about this film on paper. And I think I did an o.k. job. And if you’re saying to yourself, “I think you did a horrible job, much too long and boring,” I need to tell you something, it’s really mean to criticize others. Laters!
